HOW TO GET YOUR HUMAN TO BABBLE LIKE AN IDIOT
by Pepper O'Briant
Humans can really act immature if given half a chance! A perfect example is the way they talk to us sometimes! Wow! Talk about acting like idiots! I sometimes just have to try to conceal my snickers when they talk to me in those babbling tones! Don't get me wrong---I love my human friends! But come on! Enough is enough! :)
Because of my disease (they call it diabetes), I get shots everyday! Well, the shots really don't hurt that bad but I have to show them who's boss sometimes! So I hide from them about the time they are going to get the needle out. The perfect place to hide when the needle is coming out or just when you want to be non-socialable is under the bed. Be sure to get dead center under it so that you can't be reached from either side. A word of warning though! When you are going into the non-socialable or uncapturable mode, be sure to eat a good breakfast and drink plenty of water so that you can hold out for a long time. Also don't LOOK at your humans when they peer under the bed and above all, pretend to be DEAF!
At that time, your human will go into the babbling idiot mode, lying there, trying to coax you out and calling, "P-P-P-P-e-p-p-e-r-r-rrrr"!! Now that squeaky, high-pitched tone is coming from a big, 6 ft.-6 in. guy!! That's when I have to hide my grinning mouth behind my paw and hope that he won't hear my giggles!!!
Another time when humans are guaranteed to act like babbling idiots is when they have you in a bad situation and know it! Then they try to compensate by talking to you like they would talk to a baby! Sometimes my humans take me on long journeys and place me in an awful cage during the whole trip! I HATE IT!! Well, while they have me imprisoned, they babble!! "Pepper, you are my little babyyyyyyy!!!!!!" Or, "Where's my little sweetie???", as if she didn't know where I was! How totally humiliating!!
But what is a cat to do??!! Humans are so frustrating at times, but we can't do without them!! So we make allowances for them, hide our grins behind our paws, spend our time thinking up ways to outsmart them, and LOVE THEM!!
I thought I would post a picture of Eddie trying to coax me from under the bed! You can now see how hard it is to keep on a straight face!! Sometimes I just have to look away!!
'Til next time!
Pepper
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